“Josefina, you have no coordination whatsoever,” said the coach in front of the entire volleyball team after a lousy performance in the regional match. I was 16 or 17 years old, and the floor sank out from under me.

Only recently had I decided to join the small training group of the sports club in my hometown. I didn’t want to become a professional athlete, or even an amateur. Except for the occasional dabble during high school, I had no experience in playing team sports. I simply wanted to move my body and try something that I thought was cool. I also wanted to meet new people and have a sense of belonging.

The coach took his job very seriously and, after a bad game – partly due to my lack of skill ­– he gave us feedback. I had never excelled at sports and, to be honest, I was terrible at volleyball. I showed up for the two subsequent practices and then disappeared, never to be seen near a volleyball court again.

The coach’s words stayed with me for years, but the problem was not what he said, but that I believed it and made that label part of my identity. It reinforced the message that I had received growing up: “I’m not good at sports or anything to do with physical movement”.

That belief destroyed any enjoyment I might have experienced with exercise in general. It also prevented me from finding a more suitable form of physical activity in the years that followed. And for longer than I would like to admit, I behaved according to that idea of myself and led a rather sedentary life.

Although my mother and grandfather practiced yoga when I was a child, I didn’t really know what it was all about until I was in university, when I was advised to take classes to relieve my neck and headaches due to poor posture while studying. I found it to be a powerful, calming and healing experience. I immediately noticed its transformative effect. It allowed me to become aware of my body, but it was also a tool to ease the chattering of my mind.

I even fantasized about one day becoming a yoga teacher, but I quickly dismissed the idea because it seemed far-fetched to dedicate myself professionally to something that involved physical movement. In retrospect I think it was like I was waiting for someone to give me permission to do it.

I also thought I had to be thin, flexible and disciplined, qualities that I never thought I had.

Unfortunately, I didn’t stick to it long enough to see progress.

It wasn’t until 2012 that I started taking regular classes during my studies in Lucerne. Later on, during my pregnancy I practiced prenatal yoga and loved it. It felt like home.

Better versed in what it really means to practice yoga ­– a complete philosophical system that goes far beyond the physical component – I finally managed to put my reservations aside and did my first yoga teacher training.

It is true that sport and movement, unlike other skills, were not something that came naturally to me. And while the coach may have been right in his observation, what he did not communicate was that with more persistent training and dedication I could have gotten better.

He merely pointed out the problem, but offered no solutions or encouragement to improve, which, at such a young age, could have been a game changer.

Strictly talking about the asana part of yoga, as I “advance” in my practice I notice that not only I gained flexibility and strength, but also coordination (ha!) and proprioception – body’s ability to sense movement, action, and location in space –, and balance.

It might sound obvious, but progress won’t happen overnight; you need to be consistent and practice regularly to get results. Would you believe that I now enjoy a good gym session and a vigorous yoga class? Not so long ago, I wouldn’t have!

When I worked as a textile designer and showed my work to people outside my field, I often heard “oh, I have two left hands”, or “I’m not creative”.

My architect parents encouraged me to paint and draw from a very young age. A dear friend used to look at my drawings and say, “I wish I could draw like that!” And when I would ask her if she wanted to try, she would adamantly say “No.” I wondered what the expectation was: To do it perfectly from the start? To make no mistakes? To skip the learning curve?

Similarly, you may have said yourself or heard from others: “I’m bad at maths”, “I’m not smart”, “I can’t drive”, or “Technology is not my thing”.

We tend to repeat what we heard as children about ourselves from adults, the bearers of truth, the ones who are right and know.

Being labelled and framed in a category at an early age can move us in one direction or another. It can entrench certain behaviours and abandon others, and make us take paths based on those beliefs. That’s why as parents we need to be extra mindful about the things we say to and about our children.

Some of us have a hard time questioning some of these “truths” as grown-ups. I had to work hard to decide what I believed I was capable of and what not.

• What labels do you have?
• From whom did you hear them? When? Under what circumstances?
• Are those beliefs about yourself true?
• Are you really interested in improving or changing that? It can happen that you’re simply not!
• Is there any way to learn or improve that skill or feature?
• Have you spent several hours practicing such activity? If so, how did it feel? Did you notice the smallest sign of progress?
• What resources do you have at hand?
• Can you train yourself in that regard?
• Will you need a tutor or mentor to help you?

Perhaps we need to learn to tolerate the discomfort of not being good at something right away. We may also have to accept that learning something new takes time and dedication.

Additionally, finding the right mentor is fundamental. Someone who can provide tools, guide you compassionately, point out aspects to work on and celebrate the small victories.

If you want to start or resume your yoga practice – even if you think that you’re not cut to practice yoga, you’re not flexible or feel out of shape, stay tuned! I’ll be launching my YouTube channel with accessible practices for moms very soon.